I’ve decided to start whine Wednesday on my blog. In my younger days I had a real wine Wednesday’s which included after work drinks with friends! This whine Wednesday is dedicated to allowing ourselves to whine a little. Please feel free to enjoy a little real wine, while you whine:)
The reality is we all need to whine a little from time to time. We don’t need to dwell on it but we need to release our whines into the world, pick up and carry on!
Many people have a tendency to whine whether it be about work, life, friends, family, our spouse (probably the biggest culprit, LOL) etc. I try to be a very positive person and most recently I’ve worked hard, and continue to, to change my mindset to instinctually think “A majority of people are good. Most people are well intended and mean no harm.” Not surprisingly this mentality has helped tremendously with reshaping my attitude and feelings toward dealing with employee relations which leads me to today’s whine.
Today’s whine is a workplace whine about ownership. I dislike when people lack the ability to take ownership or accountability. The ownership/accountability whine is one that rears its ugly head now and then. We’ve all dealt with people who push blame onto others, onto companies, onto society, pretty much onto anyone/anything but themselves. I cannot tell you the number of calls I have received from employees over the course of my career that complain about the company, their co-workers, their managers and their work responsibilities, the list is endless. What these people fail to acknowledge is the role they play in their own lives, as if they are simple along for the ride and victims to the world. The reality is we are the drivers to our own ride!
I listen intently to employee concerns ( I have to because I need to be aware of any true harassment, discrimination or other sensitive issue) I often find the pattern of familiar behavior, the behavior “everyone else is the problem, not me I’m perfect!” These people usually say things like “No body works as hard as I do!” “I do my job right but ABC is NOT part of my job and they should know that.” “My manager has never been in my position they don’t know what my responsibilities are, they don’t provide the right training.” “The computer I have doesn’t work that’s why I cannot complete my tasks.” Etc you get the point.
I like to be an advocate for self-control, accountability and ownership. When open to it, I share my advice with the employees. I do my best to coach them, to help them stand back and reflect on the situations. I say things like “We control our world and everything else is outside of our control. Take control of what you can, your behaviors are one thing you can control.” “We can only be as good as we want to be! If you see in issue or problem find ways to fix it, not just complain about it.” “We can be influencers to others by setting a solid example of how work should be done and by collaborating with our leaders”. I don’t just spout out my sayings, keywords they come through the natural progression of our conversation. That’s my whine, I feel better already!!
When I whine out-loud I actually hear my thoughts and THAT allows me the opportunity to reshaped my perspective and get back on track. Sometimes it’s easy to harp on certain ideas and get caught in the downward spiral but hopefully Whine Wednesday will be a great support for us to share our whines, listen intently, share support & ideas, and collectively move along our happy ways.
Tips to move pass your whines:
1.) Whine, or AKA vent. On a blog, to a friend, a trusted colleague and family member. Get the whine out of your head and into the world.
2.) Looks at the positive. Or try to at least understand where that other person could potentially be coming from, this helps put things back into perspective.
3.) Remember a majority of people are well intended. If they cannot see their opportunities for improvement it’s because they are not ready or because they cannot recognize it. These people will either go through life miserable in every environment and never change or they will have that AH-HA moment and decide to take control of their lives.I can only control my world. In my world I help coach employees. If I’ve done my part to the best of my ability then I can walk away feeling accomplished.
4.) REMIND myself of steps 1-3:)
While this is a public blog site, lets consider Whine Wednesday our “safe zone”. What are some of your whines and how to you move past them?